“One
sign of behaving as an adult is to know when you need help another is to find
it.”
It’s time for those New Year resolutions that we
often make following over-indulging from celebrations or for many looking back
at 2016 happy that it is now over and done with.
So what new resolutions are you going to make? The
lose weight, drink less, be more active are the norm. Then we have get
promotion, new job, start my own business, learn a foreign language, play a
musical instrument and of course improve your love life. Those who are a bit
more reflective may seek more time with family, improve financial situation or
plan a wonderful holiday in the future; maybe write a book when I retire.
As a life coach these same resolutions have been
made by those people who now seek help because their life isn’t working out.
They may have lost direction, motivation or the colour has simply gone from
their life. The biggest challenge that I have found is that most people simply
don’t know what they really want.
The majority of people have a mind-set of moving
from rather than too. I want to get away from that job or my current partner or
being broke all the time. Many of those that are in the moving too camp are
held back by their past with feelings of guilt, anger, lack of belief in
themselves or past disappointment.
One
sign of behaving as an adult is to know when you need help another is to find
it.
As part of the New Year resolution phase is the
increased purchase of self-help books, audio programmes along with some
pseudo-scientific belief publications. Those “Belief Solutions” may have some
substance but often make extreme claims interpreted in such ways to sucker the
gullible. Of course if it doesn’t work it’s because you are at fault because “you
didn’t believe enough”! Another sad fact is that most self-help material is
rarely fully read or listened too let alone acted upon.
The philosopher Socrates said “Know Yourself” which
in my view is one of the wisest statements ever made. Knowing ourselves is a
real challenge but only by doing so can we follow a path that reflects what is
important to us today.
Those of us who have worked in companies or large
organisations would have been given resolutions in the form of goal objectives.
Typically these would be SMART objectives – Specific, Measureable, Achievable,
Realistic and Time-bound.
This approach it has a great deal of merit and is an
effective way to get people to do what you want them to do in the work
environment. Indeed it can also be useful in setting your own goals once you
have identified what it is that you really want to achieve.
The problem using only SMART objectives is it
ignores the fundamental of being human. That is we are all individuals,
emotionally driven and complex. How we behave is the direct result of our
knowledge, experience, our environment, the people around us and our feelings
and emotions at the time.
As a guiding principle for goal setting I created my
own acronym - MEJMA®. This is for you when
you find and commit to those important life goals.
Make
your dreams and your life MEJMA®:
Ø Meaningful - having real importance and purpose
Ø Emotional - creating the feelings that support your beliefs and
values
Ø Justifiable – the investment in time and effort reflects the benefit
Ø Motivational – the driver to take action
Ø Altruistic - a concern for the welfare of others
In 2017 you can change your life and begin that
journey to your greater happiness and fulfilment. Take time to find out who you
really are and what it is that you really want to achieve now and in the
future.
When you know where you are heading remember … as
the Taoist monks have said “The journey is the reward”. It is up to you to
decide on your destination.
Get SMART when it matters but always be MEJMA®.
Ian Marshall
Bringing
your life to LIFE
www.mejma.com
As a life coach Ian specialises in helping people in
middle years who find themselves at a crossroads in their life – sometimes
over-whelmed, bored or simply lost, the colour has gone from their life.
Helping individuals to find what it is that they really want in their life now
and to explore pathways to achieve these new dreams. This is the point where Ian
helps, helping people find the future they want and the happiness they deserve.www.mejma.com
