Monday, 19 December 2016
“One sign of behaving as an adult is to know when you need help another is to find it.”
It’s time for those New Year resolutions that we often make following over-indulging from celebrations or for many looking back at 2016 happy that it is now over and done with.
So what new resolutions are you going to make? The lose weight, drink less, be more active are the norm. Then we have get promotion, new job, start my own business, learn a foreign language, play a musical instrument and of course improve your love life. Those who are a bit more reflective may seek more time with family, improve financial situation or plan a wonderful holiday in the future; maybe write a book when I retire.
As a life coach these same resolutions have been made by those people who now seek help because their life isn’t working out. They may have lost direction, motivation or the colour has simply gone from their life. The biggest challenge that I have found is that most people simply don’t know what they really want.
The majority of people have a mind-set of moving from rather than too. I want to get away from that job or my current partner or being broke all the time. Many of those that are in the moving too camp are held back by their past with feelings of guilt, anger, lack of belief in themselves or past disappointment.
One sign of behaving as an adult is to know when you need help another is to find it.
As part of the New Year resolution phase is the increased purchase of self-help books, audio programmes along with some pseudo-scientific belief publications. Those “Belief Solutions” may have some substance but often make extreme claims interpreted in such ways to sucker the gullible. Of course if it doesn’t work it’s because you are at fault because “you didn’t believe enough”! Another sad fact is that most self-help material is rarely fully read or listened too let alone acted upon.
The philosopher Socrates said “Know Yourself” which in my view is one of the wisest statements ever made. Knowing ourselves is a real challenge but only by doing so can we follow a path that reflects what is important to us today.
Those of us who have worked in companies or large organisations would have been given resolutions in the form of goal objectives. Typically these would be SMART objectives – Specific, Measureable, Achievable, Realistic and Time-bound.
This approach it has a great deal of merit and is an effective way to get people to do what you want them to do in the work environment. Indeed it can also be useful in setting your own goals once you have identified what it is that you really want to achieve.
The problem using only SMART objectives is it ignores the fundamental of being human. That is we are all individuals, emotionally driven and complex. How we behave is the direct result of our knowledge, experience, our environment, the people around us and our feelings and emotions at the time.
As a guiding principle for goal setting I created my own acronym - MEJMA®. This is for you when you find and commit to those important life goals.
Make your dreams and your life MEJMA®:
Ø Meaningful - having real importance and purpose
Ø Emotional - creating the feelings that support your beliefs and values
Ø Justifiable – the investment in time and effort reflects the benefit
Ø Motivational – the driver to take action
Ø Altruistic - a concern for the welfare of others
In 2017 you can change your life and begin that journey to your greater happiness and fulfilment. Take time to find out who you really are and what it is that you really want to achieve now and in the future.
When you know where you are heading remember … as the Taoist monks have said “The journey is the reward”. It is up to you to decide on your destination.
Get SMART when it matters but always be MEJMA®.
Bringing your life to LIFE
As a life coach Ian specialises in helping people in middle years who find themselves at a crossroads in their life – sometimes over-whelmed, bored or simply lost, the colour has gone from their life. Helping individuals to find what it is that they really want in their life now and to explore pathways to achieve these new dreams. This is the point where Ian helps, helping people find the future they want and the happiness they deserve.www.mejma.com